Guides · 8

Identity and orientation

Most dating advice assumes you already know exactly who you are and that everyone you meet will understand it. These guides start from the opposite place: you may still be working out the word, the person across from you may not know it, and both of you deserve to be treated well in the meantime.

They cover questioning, bisexual and pansexual dating, asexual and aromantic dating, being non-binary or trans on the apps, dating someone who is trans for the first time, and dating when you are newly out. If a word on a profile is unfamiliar, the glossary explains it without assuming anything about the person who used it.

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Questioning your sexuality: there's no test to pass

You don't need proof, a history, or certainty to use the word that fits. What questioning actually feels like, why the pressure to be sure is backwards, and how to date while you're still working it out.

6 min read →

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Dating as bisexual or pansexual: being seen for the whole of it

Bi and pan daters get erased from both directions. How to date without shrinking your orientation — handling erasure, disclosure, and finding people who get it.

6 min read →

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Dating as an asexual or aromantic person

Ace and aro people are dating, partnering and building lives — usually on apps that assume sex is the destination. What to put in a profile, when to say it, and how to find people who want the same shape of thing.

6 min read →

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Online dating as a non-binary person: what actually helps

Practical advice for non-binary people navigating dating apps — from profile choices to handling the wrong questions, without shrinking yourself.

6 min read →

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Dating while trans: control, disclosure, and safety

A practical guide to dating apps as a trans or non-binary person — controlling who sees you, handling disclosure on your terms, and filtering for people who already get it.

6 min read →

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Dating a trans person for the first time

Respectful, practical advice for cis people dating a trans or non-binary person: curiosity versus interrogation, boundaries, names and privacy.

9 min read →

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Dating when you're newly out

Coming out later, or recently, means starting dating at a different point than everyone seems to assume. What actually helps in the first year — and what to ignore.

6 min read →

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LGBTQ+ dating terms, explained plainly

From sapphic to situationship: a plain-English glossary of the orientation, identity, relationship and dating terms on profiles, and how to ask when unsure.

8 min read →