Dating as bisexual or pansexual: being seen for the whole of it

Bi and pan people get erased from two directions at once. Straight spaces read you as secretly gay; some queer spaces read you as not-quite-queer, a tourist, a phase between certainties. The result is a specific kind of loneliness: being visible everywhere and believed nowhere. This guide is about dating anyway — fully, without translating yourself down for anyone's comfort.