Coming out later in life in London: support, groups and the practical steps

Who this guide is for, and how it was made

This guide is for people in London who are coming out after years of living as straight, or as the gender they were assigned at birth: often people who are married or have been, who have children, or who simply did not have the words or the safety earlier. It also suits anyone helping a partner, parent or friend through it. It lists groups and services; it is not counselling, legal or medical advice, and nothing here replaces 999 if someone is in danger.

Every group, time and fee was read from the organisation's own page, or from NHS and GOV.UK pages, on 27 October 2026. Where a page did not give a time or venue, we say so. London Friend publishes its groups as a month-by-month calendar, so one-off dates are left out here; check the calendar for the current month. Some helplines often recommended for coming out are not listed with numbers here because their sites could not be read, and our rule is to give a number only with the hours its own page states.

There is no correct age for this. Some groups are open to everyone and some are for particular ages or identities; the descriptions below use each group's own words about who it is for.

Coming-out groups at London Friend

London Friend is an LGBTQ+ charity based at 86 Caledonian Road, N1, a short walk north of King's Cross. Turning Point is listed as a coming-out group for gay and bisexual men, and Changes as a social and support group for lesbian and bisexual women; both run from 7pm to 9pm on dates given in the monthly calendar. For Turning Point, the calendar warns that people arriving 30 minutes after the start might not be able to attend, so aim to be on time.

Other groups in the same building are open to people at any stage. The LGBTQ+ Drop-In Café runs from 11am to 1pm on calendar dates, described as open to all LGBT people and all ages, with no need to sign up. Mattrix is a social group for gay and bisexual men, Pink Ink is a creative writing group for all LGBT people that the charity says meets on the second and fourth Thursday of every month, 7pm to 9pm, with no need to book, and T-Tuesday is for trans people and people exploring their gender.

London Friend also offers one-to-one counselling for LGBTIQ people and for people questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity. Its page describes 12 weeks of counselling with a volunteer counsellor who is qualified or working towards qualification, with no fixed fee: you are asked for a regular contribution based on income, agreed at assessment. You refer yourself by emailing counselling@londonfriend.org.uk, and the page says that, because of a waiting list, it may be several weeks before you are offered an initial assessment. It suggests using its coming-out or social groups while you wait.

• London FriendLGBTQ+ charity, groups and counselling

  86 Caledonian Road, N1 · Nearest: King's Cross St Pancras

  Turning Point coming-out group for gay and bisexual men and Changes for lesbian and bisexual women, both 7pm to 9pm on calendar dates; drop-in café 11am to 1pm; 12-week counselling by self-referral.

Talking it through: counselling and mental health

Coming out later can mean difficult conversations with a partner, children or wider family, and some people want to talk it through with someone outside the situation. Besides London Friend's counselling, the NHS says adults in England aged 18 or over can refer themselves to NHS Talking Therapies for anxiety or depression, and that you do not need a diagnosis. You search with the name of your GP surgery and the local service contacts you and tells you how long the wait may be; you can also ask your GP to refer you.

elop, the East London Out Project, describes itself as an LGBT mental health and wellbeing charity that has supported London's LGBTQ+ communities since 1995, and lists counselling, wellbeing and support groups and advice. Its home page did not give times or a venue, so contact it through its site.

If you are dealing with control, threats or abuse at home, including after telling a partner, Galop's helpline for LGBTQ+ people aged 18 and over is 0800 999 5428. Its page lists Monday and Tuesday 9:15am to 8pm and Wednesday to Friday 9:15am to 4:30pm, closed at weekends and from 1pm to 2pm every day, and closing at 3:30pm on the first Thursday of each month. In an emergency, call 999.

• NHS Talking TherapiesNHS self referral service

  Every London borough

  Self-referral for adults in England with anxiety or depression; search by GP surgery, or ask your GP to refer you.

• elopLGBTQ+ mental health and wellbeing charity

  East London

  Counselling, wellbeing and support groups, advice and information; contact it for times and venues.

Groups if you are coming out in your 50s or later

Several London groups are specifically for LGBTQ+ people over 50. London Friend's calendar lists an LGBTQ+ Over 50s Social for older LGBTQ+ people, from 11:30am to 1:30pm; the entries did not state the venue, so check with the charity. LGBT HERO runs a 50+ HangOut on Zoom on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month from 6pm to 7:30pm, booked through Eventbrite, and says the room closes at 6:10pm.

The London LGBTQ+ Community Centre at 60 to 62 Hopton Street, near Blackfriars, began as a pop-up during lockdown and is now a permanent space with a café. Its listed opening hours are Wednesday 11am to 6pm, Thursday to Saturday noon to 8pm and Sunday 1pm to 8pm, with Monday and Tuesday kept for community bookings. Its regular groups page says four over-50s groups that formed from Opening Doors meet there: a 50+ Friday Social, Bi the Way for bisexual and pansexual people over 50, Melanin Vybz for Black people and people of colour over 50, and a 50+ Trans and Non-Binary Social. The page gives no times and says it may not always be up to date, so check the centre's events listings or Eventbrite.

For women, the Lesbian Discussion Group, founded in 1981, meets every Wednesday at 66 Marchmont Street, WC1, arriving at 7:45pm for an 8pm start, except on the last Wednesday of the month, when the Older Lesbian Discussion Group meets instead, arriving 7:15pm for 7:30pm. Its site says no registration is needed and places go first come, first served. A fuller list of over-50s groups is in our separate guide for older LGBTQ+ Londoners.

If you are bisexual or pansexual, the 2025 Older LGBTQ+ Londoner's guide, from a roundtable hosted by LGBT Consortium, describes Bi the Way as meeting monthly on a Monday at the centre, and the centre still lists it among its regular groups.

If you are trans and transitioning later

People who come out as trans in mid-life or later have some groups of their own. Gendered Intelligence lists an online Over 50s Transfem Group for trans women and transfeminine people over 50, and online groups and voice workshops for adults waiting for gender-affirmative healthcare. London Friend's T-Tuesday is for trans people and people exploring their gender. Not A Phase, a trans-led charity for adults, says its free fortnightly online Trans+Connect peer groups include support for people transitioning later in life.

For NHS care, the NHS says a GP can refer adults to the adult gender referral support service for assessment at an NHS gender dysphoria clinic, and that waits are currently very long. If you are married, GOV.UK says your spouse must sign a document for you to stay married when you get a Gender Recognition Certificate; otherwise you receive an interim certificate, which can only be used to end the marriage or civil partnership. Our guide to trans and non-binary support in London covers clinics, helplines and the 2025 Supreme Court ruling in more detail.

Marriage, separation and the practical side

Coming out does not have to mean ending a marriage. If you do separate, GOV.UK sets out the steps. For divorce in England and Wales, it says you can apply if you have been married for over a year, the relationship has permanently broken down, and the marriage is legally recognised in the UK. The fee is listed as £628, online or by post, with help with court fees available. The process runs through applying, a conditional order and then a final order. Legal separation is an alternative if you do not want to end the marriage, and Scotland and Northern Ireland have different processes.

For a civil partnership, GOV.UK says you can apply to end it once you have been in it for over a year, through a similar conditional order and final order process, and points to Citizens Advice and Advice Now for free guidance. Arrangements for children, money and property are usually the hard part, and GOV.UK says you can usually avoid court hearings if you agree about them and about the reasons for ending the partnership. Get legal advice on your own situation; this guide does not replace it.

At work, GOV.UK lists sexual orientation and gender reassignment among the protected characteristics under the Equality Act 2010, which make discrimination unlawful at work, in education, as a consumer, when using public services, when buying or renting property, and in clubs and associations. You do not have to come out at work.

Family, children and dating again

If you have children, or your own parents are struggling with the news, FFLAG is a national charity supporting families with LGBT+ loved ones. Its helpline is 0300 688 0368, listed as Wednesday and Thursday 10am to 8pm and Friday and Saturday 10am to 6pm. Its site also lists parent groups and a Zoom peer support group.

If you start dating again after a long relationship, our guides to meeting LGBTQ+ people without the apps and to first-date safety in London cover the practical side, and the LGBTQ+ book clubs and sports clubs guides list easy, regular places to meet people around something else.

Before you go

• Check London Friend's calendar for the current month; Turning Point and Changes dates move.
• Arrive on time: London Friend says people more than 30 minutes late may not be able to join a group.
• If there is a wait for counselling, use a group or NHS Talking Therapies in the meantime.
• Before separating, read the GOV.UK divorce or civil partnership guide and get advice on your own situation.
• Check the London LGBTQ+ Community Centre's events listings or Eventbrite, as its regular groups page may not be current.

Questions people ask

Is there a coming-out group for older or married men in London?

London Friend runs Turning Point, listed as a coming-out group for gay and bisexual men, at 86 Caledonian Road, N1, from 7pm to 9pm on dates in its monthly calendar. It is not age-specific. We did not find a group limited to married men in London on the pages we read.

Is there a group for women who are coming out?

London Friend's Changes is listed as a social and support group for lesbian and bisexual women, 7pm to 9pm on calendar dates; it is not described as a coming-out group. The Lesbian Discussion Group meets on Wednesdays at 66 Marchmont Street, with an older lesbians' group on the last Wednesday of the month.

How much does London Friend counselling cost?

Its page says there is no fixed fee. You are asked to make a regular contribution based on your income, agreed at your assessment. Counselling lasts 12 weeks, you refer yourself by email, and it may be several weeks before an initial assessment.

How do I get divorced after coming out?

GOV.UK says you can apply for divorce in England and Wales if you have been married for over a year and the relationship has permanently broken down. The fee is £628, with help available. The process runs through a conditional order and a final order. Get legal advice for your own situation.