LGBTQ+ parenting in London: adoption, fertility, surrogacy and family groups

How this guide was made, and what it is not

This guide is for LGBTQ+ people in London who are thinking about becoming parents, or who already are and want other families around them. It also covers support for parents of LGBTQ+ children. It is a starting point, not legal or medical advice. Parenthood law in particular has traps, and anyone using a donor or a surrogate should get specialist legal advice before starting.

Every rule, figure and group below was read from GOV.UK, the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), or the organisation's own pages on 27 October 2026. Where a page did not say something, we leave it out instead of filling it in from memory, and point to the official page that covers it. One-off event dates are left out, because they change month by month.

Adoption: who can adopt and where to start in London

GOV.UK's guidance for England and Wales says you may be able to adopt if you are aged 21 or over, and that there is no upper age limit. You can be single, married, in a civil partnership, part of an unmarried same-sex or opposite-sex couple, or the partner of the child's parent, and it notes different rules for private adoptions and for adopting looked-after children. You do not need to be a British citizen, but you and any partner must have a fixed, permanent home in the UK, Channel Islands or Isle of Man and have lived in the UK for at least a year before applying. You can apply through your council or through a voluntary adoption agency. The process runs through early stages, an assessment and then an application to court for an adoption order.

In London, most councils work through Adopt London, which describes itself as made up of four regional adoption agencies, North, East, South and West, working with local authority partners. Its borough list includes, among others, Camden, Hackney, Islington, Lambeth, Southwark, Wandsworth, Newham, Ealing and Croydon. Its LGBTQ+ adoption page says it welcomes applications from all LGBTQ+ people and positively encourages them, that your marital status, ethnicity, culture, age, disability, sexuality or gender will never be a barrier, and that LGBTQ+ couples do not need to be married or in a civil partnership, only to show they live together in a long-term relationship. It says every applicant is assessed on their qualities and capacity to meet the needs of the children waiting, and that 1 in 5 adoptions in England are with LGBTQ+ single people and couples.

Adopt London runs regular online information sessions and meet-the-adopters evenings; its home page lists the upcoming dates. An information session is the low-pressure first step: you can ask questions without committing to anything.

On leave from work, GOV.UK says that if you adopt a child or have a child through a surrogacy arrangement you might be eligible for Statutory Adoption Leave and Statutory Adoption Pay. The eligibility rules are on GOV.UK's adoption pay and leave pages; check them, and your employer's policy, early.

• Adopt LondonRegional adoption agency

  North, East, South and West London

  Says sexuality and gender will never be a barrier and that LGBTQ+ couples need not be married; regular online information sessions.

Meeting other LGBTQ+ adoptive and foster families

New Family Social is a UK charity for LGBTQ+ adoptive and foster families. Its site says it has around 11,000 members, and its events calendar can be filtered by region, with listings that include online coffee mornings for LGBTQ+ adopters, foster carers, special guardians and people interested in applying, and adoption information events. Which events you can attend depends on your membership tier, and full details need a member login. Adopt London says it is a member of New Family Social and that all LGBTQ+ people working with it can get free membership, so ask your agency before paying.

Adopt London says New Family Social was formed and is run by LGBTQ+ adopters and foster carers, and can put you in touch with other adopters.

• New Family SocialCharity for LGBTQ+ adopters and foster carers

  UK-wide, with Greater London events

  Members' calendar by region, online coffee mornings and in-person meet-ups; free membership for LGBTQ+ people working with Adopt London.

Fertility treatment and donor conception

The HFEA is the UK regulator for fertility clinics. Its page for LGBT+ people says IUI, where sperm is placed in the womb, is often used by people in female same-sex relationships, with or without fertility drugs, and that IVF may be appropriate for female couples with fertility problems. It describes reciprocal IVF, where eggs from one partner are fertilised with donor sperm and the other partner carries the pregnancy. For male couples, it says surrogacy is the main route, with an embryo created from one partner's sperm and either the surrogate's eggs or donated eggs.

Legal parenthood needs care. The HFEA says that if you give birth, you are automatically the child's legal parent. If you are married or in a civil partnership, your spouse or civil partner is generally the other legal parent unless they did not consent to the treatment. If you are not married or in a civil partnership and are using donated sperm or embryos at a licensed UK clinic, your partner will not automatically be a legal parent: you must both consent in writing, on the HFEA's WP and PP forms, before insemination or embryo transfer. The forms cannot be completed afterwards, and if consent was not given correctly the partner may need a court declaration of parentage. The HFEA also warns that with a private, non-clinic sperm donor there is a risk the donor could be treated as the legal father.

On cost, the HFEA's LGBT+ page, first published in 2016, says female same-sex couples need to pay for six cycles of IUI before qualifying for NHS funding, and that access then depends on what is available locally. Male couples using surrogacy have to pay for treatment privately. For trans and non-binary people, the HFEA says gender-affirming treatment can affect fertility and points to its information on fertility preservation; the NHS says you can be referred to a fertility service to store eggs or sperm.

Surrogacy: what UK law says

GOV.UK's page on surrogates and donors is short and clear on the basics. If you use a surrogate, they will be the child's legal parent at birth, and if the surrogate is married or in a civil partnership, their spouse or civil partner becomes the second parent unless they did not give permission. Legal parenthood can then be transferred to you by a parental order or by adoption. Surrogacy agreements are not enforceable by UK law, although writing one down can record how the arrangement will work. You cannot pay a surrogate in the UK, except for their reasonable expenses.

GOV.UK's page on becoming the child's legal parent says you can apply for a parental order with a partner, if you are married, civil partners or living as partners, or on your own. At least one applicant must be genetically related to the child, the child must live with you, you must live permanently in the UK, Channel Islands or Isle of Man, and you must apply within 6 months of the birth. In England and Wales the court fee is £270, and the surrogate and any other legal parent must agree to the order. If neither of you is genetically related to the child, adoption is the only route. Take legal advice before any arrangement, especially one involving another country.

Support for parents of LGBTQ+ children

Family groups are not only for LGBTQ+ parents. If your child has come out, FFLAG, a national charity supporting families with LGBT+ loved ones, runs a helpline on 0300 688 0368, listed as Wednesday and Thursday 10am to 8pm and Friday and Saturday 10am to 6pm, and lists parent groups and a Zoom peer support group on its site.

For families of trans and non-binary young people, Mermaids' helpline is 0808 801 0400, listed as Monday and Wednesday 10:30am to 6pm and Tuesday and Thursday 1pm to 8:30pm. Gendered Intelligence lists a monthly forum, online and in person, for parents, carers and other adult relatives of young trans and non-binary people, and in-person trips to Pride events for young people and their families.

LGBT HERO, a national LGBTQ+ health charity, links to an LGBTQ+ Parenting and Families Directory from its home page, a list of support services rather than a group.

• FFLAGCharity for families of LGBT+ people

  UK-wide

  Helpline 0300 688 0368, Wednesday and Thursday 10am to 8pm, Friday and Saturday 10am to 6pm; parent groups and a Zoom peer support group.

• MermaidsCharity for trans young people and families

  UK-wide

  Helpline 0808 801 0400, Monday and Wednesday 10:30am to 6pm, Tuesday and Thursday 1pm to 8:30pm; bank holiday times may vary.

Dating when you are a parent, or want to be one

If you already have children, meeting people through regular groups, rather than late-night venues, often fits family life better; our guides to LGBTQ+ sports clubs and social groups and to meeting LGBTQ+ people without the apps list daytime and weekend options.

If you and a partner are planning a family together, read the HFEA's consent rules before you choose a clinic, and the GOV.UK surrogacy page before you talk to anyone about a surrogacy arrangement.

Before you go

• Book an Adopt London online information session before deciding anything; it commits you to nothing.
• Ask your adoption agency whether it pays for New Family Social membership before you buy it yourself.
• If you are unmarried and using a clinic, make sure both of you sign the HFEA consent forms before treatment starts.
• Read GOV.UK's page on becoming a child's legal parent, and take legal advice, before any surrogacy arrangement.
• Check statutory adoption leave eligibility with GOV.UK and your employer early in the process.

Questions people ask

Can a same-sex couple adopt in London?

Yes. GOV.UK says unmarried same-sex couples, married couples, civil partners and single people aged 21 or over may be able to adopt. Adopt London says LGBTQ+ couples do not need to be married or in a civil partnership, only to show they live together in a long-term relationship, and that sexuality and gender will never be a barrier.

Who is the legal parent if two women use donor sperm?

The HFEA says the woman who gives birth is always a legal parent. A wife or civil partner is generally the second legal parent unless she did not consent. With donor sperm at a licensed clinic, an unmarried partner is a legal parent only if both of you signed the consent forms before treatment. Using a private donor carries a risk the donor is treated as the father.

Is paid surrogacy legal in the UK?

GOV.UK says you cannot pay a surrogate in the UK except for their reasonable expenses, and that surrogacy agreements are not enforceable by UK law. The surrogate is the child's legal parent at birth, and parenthood is transferred later by a parental order, applied for within 6 months of the birth, or by adoption.

Does the NHS fund IVF for lesbian couples?

The HFEA says female same-sex couples need to pay for six cycles of IUI before qualifying for NHS funding, and that funding then depends on what is available in your area. Male couples using surrogacy have to pay privately.